A Subtle Breath
by Pirate College Graduate
Summary: Spock finds it illogical, but he cannot leave the Captain's frail form inside the Hospital.


It has been approximately 369 days, 20 hours, 47 minutes and 11 seconds since Spock entered the bridge and requested that he be reinstated as first officer under James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the Enterprise. And during that time he has witnessed the Captain in myriad compromising positions, all of which resulted in Jim taking to his quarters, telling Dr. McCoy or Spock that he "didn't want to talk about it." Of course, Spock never inquired into the Captain's personal life, and was grateful that the Captain extended him the same courtesy, but Dr. McCoy did not have the same type of self restraint, and when the Captain would give both men angry looks before shutting the door to his quarters Dr. McCoy would mutter under his breath about "damn kid, his brain might as well be made of hay."

Of course to which Spock could only say "That is illogical, Doctor. As of now there exists no possibility in the known universe of a sentient being who is able to run on Alfalfa," which would cause the Doctor to groan and say "Did I ask you, Spock?" to which Spock would reply, "You spoke aloud. I can only assume you meant for me to be on the receiving end," which would cause Dr. McCoy to leave the area with even more grunting and cursing under his breath. And each time, as he watched McCoy leave the corridor, and as he made sure the hallway was completely vacated, he would stand outside of the Captain's doors and, with his acute sense of hearing, would wait for the Captain's small, albeit noticeable, snores. It was then and only then, when Spock had heard the snores for approximately 2.5 minutes, that he would feel satisfied of the Captain's wellbeing, and would vacate the area.

When he reached his quarters Nyota was usually waiting, and when she would inquire as to where he was he would simply tell her that he had spent extra time on the bridge. His answer always seemed to satisfy her curiosity, and when their minds joined he never detected an inkling of doubt from her.

So when the Captain is in a hospital bedroom, the fugitive Khan's blood coursing through his veins, the beating at a rapid acceleration, the Captain's skin pale, his snores nonexistent, Spock knows he cannot leave the room. Dr. McCoy has come by approximately 26 times, mostly to check on the Captain's levels, which he says are promising, and to tell Spock that it is "illogical" to stay present when the Captain's condition is likely to change. Most of these times Spock explains to the doctor that he understands this fact, but that as First Officer it is his duty to make sure the well-being of the Captain is secure. Dr. McCoy will usually sigh and mention that perhaps Spock isn't that "cold," and normally Spock would remark on his naturally warm body temperature, but the circumstances do not call for his attempts at logical "dry humor." But approximately 12 days, 5 hours, and 24 seconds into Jim's comatose state the Doctor simply puts a hand on Spock's shoulder and says, tiredly, "I know, Spock. I'm worried about him too." Spock does not reply, but gives the Doctor a glance before turning his gaze back to the Captain.

Every third night he requests that Nyota bring his candles with her so that he may properly meditate in the room. He knows he cannot light them in a hospital, but having them present helps the process. She does so, and on occasion will bring him dishes like Plomeek soup before sitting next to him quietly while he meditates. Other days Dr. Marcus will come in to visit the Captain, and to talk with Dr. McCoy. Spock suspects the two are possibly involved in a romantic relationship.

It is the 13th night that the Captain has been in a coma, and Spock is the only one in the room. He glances out the window at the rain that blurs the city and lights and blocks out the sounds of cars below, and then back down at the Captain, whose face is bathed in shadow, save for his forehead.

Spock feels a sudden compulsion, and knows that under ordinary circumstances he would fight this compulsion. But these are not normal circumstances, and he has begun to embrace the human part of him as well. It is what his mother would have wanted, what the Captain saw in him. And so, for this night, he gives in to his human side, and walks over to the where the Captain lays. He places on hand on the pillow, and, bending down slowly and quietly as he can (which he knows is illogical since the Captain is highly unlikely to wake up), places a kiss on the Captain's forehead. He feels a quick smooth burn at the Contact, and lifts himself up, pushing himself away from the bed to where he sat earlier, attempting to meditate and failing. And as he does so, he looks up and sees Dr. McCoy standing there, smirking at him.

"Doctor," Spock says, in that moment suddenly at a loss for words as to explain himself.

"You son of a bitch. Always knew ya had a heart in there."

"Doctor, if I might ask—"

"Ah, save it, Spock. I'm not heartless either. Your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Dr. McCoy looks back to the Captain, checks his vitals, wishes Spock "pleasant dreams," and leaves. Spock takes his place once again on his meditation mat, and puts his hands together in a Ta'al pose, closing his eyes. And as he begins the process, he hears a very quiet but very distinct snore.


End file.
